Every Awful Thing
by embrace-the-deception
Summary: My interpretation of the song Candles. Karofsky gets a strange email and has to confront some things he thought he could hide away forever. Hints of one-sided Kurtofsky, plus some Klaine. ONESHOT


**Okay, so this a new one for me. I, for one, absolutelt hate Karofsky. I mean, what he did was totally cruel. But anyway, not the point. I've never written anything about Karofksy before, so this is new. Plus, I've never written in this tense before either, so I don't know how well I did that. But the main point is, the song.**

**When they sung Candles, I didn't really get it - it didn't sound like the kind of song they should be singing. This is just my interpretation of the song, why Blaine chose it, etc. I don't know the real interpretation, if there is one, and I don't really care. This is just how I saw the song. **

**Please review, and tell me what you think :D**

Dave Karofsky never does homework if he can help it. He doesn't see the point in doing it. After all, you go to school to do that stuff, why should you have to take it home and keep working? Isn't that supposed to be the time kids have to do what _they_ wanted?

So when Dave calls down to his parents that he's going upstairs to his room to finish off his homework, he obviously has no intention of doing that. Instead, he's planning on jumping on the computer, maybe checking his emails before going on the internet to play some games.

Dave shuts the door of his room before settling in front of the computer and logging on. A few seconds later and he's in his email account, flicking through for any new messages he's been sent.

There's only one. He stares at the email address, not recognising it. .It takes him a moment to remember where he's heard the name before.

"Dalton… isn't that where…" he trails off, curious now. The Warblers, he remembers from having to listen to the Glee kids that play in the football team, is Dalton's glee club. And Dalton is the school that Kurt transferred to after… well, after what had happened.

Dave wonders why someone from the Warblers is sending him an email. And why they even know _his_ email. But curiosity gets the better of him. The title of the email simply says **Something you should know**.

He opens the message to find a link. Clicking it, he's taken to a Youtube video with the title Dalton Academy at Regionals - Candles. As he waits for it to load, he flicks through some of the comments posted below it.

**Frankenteen – yeah, that's my bro :D**

**Vampiric – I was there. I can proudly say I WAS THERE! And you boys were all cool, kinda sorry you didn't win.**

**Wheels – good on you guys! You two, dare I say it, are CRAZY IN LOVE! **

**danceitup16 – K, B, you were great! ;P**

**PromQueen – and we all know what happened after the songs…**

**gold-star – Good singing. Almost sad you didn't win, but HEY, WE WON! WE'RE GOING TO NATIONALS! HAHA!**

**Diva-girl – Blaine, if you hurt my boy I will cut you. Fair warning.**

Finally the video is loaded and Dave presses play, almost afraid now of what he's going to see. Most of the comments, if not all of them, have been posted by the Glee kids, and he can almost tell who had said what. Quinn, Rachel, Wheelchair-kid and the crazy black girl were just the ones he can recognise at a glance. And who the hell is this Blaine? A Dalton kid? What does this video and this song have to do with him?

He stares as he sees the stage of Regionals, the footage obviously taken with someone's phone. Through wobbly film, Dave sees the mass of uniformed kids at the back of the stage. One boy walks out.

_The powerlines went out_

_And I am all alone_

_But I don't really care at all_

_Not answering my phone_

Dave stares. That, right there on the screen, is Kurt. That's him, singing in front of all those people. And damn did he look good. Dave shakes his head, banishing that thought as another boy steps out on stage and begins to sing.

_All the games you played_

_The promises you made_

_Couldn't finish what you started _

_Only darkness still remains_

Dave figures this is 'Blaine'. And now he has the general idea of what's going on. As the song progresses, Dave suddenly has the sick feeling that this, the song itself, was meant for him. He can see the hidden meaning behind every single word.

All the times he's hurt Kurt. All the time's he's said hurtful things, been cruel and thrown slushies at the boy. All the times he's slammed him into lockers. The time he kissed him. The time he threatened to kill him. He remembers them all – the games, the promises. They were always just games, never serious or meant to honestly hurt Kurt. They were just the games he played in order to hide what he really felt, and still feels now.

He promised Kurt he would kill him if he ever spoke out. But he'd never meant it. He knows he would never have done anything like that to Kurt. There's too much there to lose, too much he feels that he can't say out loud.

_Been black and blue before_

_There's no need to explain_

_I am not the jaded kind_

_Playback's such a waste_

He remembers the times he'd beaten Kurt up before. He remembers all the times he'd grabbed his arm so hard it left bruises. How many times _had_ he shoved the kid into a locker, seen him wince as new bruises joined old ones? There'd even been that time he'd accidentally given the boy a black eye. Luckily Kurt hadn't told anyone the truth. He'd never told anyone anything. At least, not until now, when he'd transferred. But Kurt had never hit back, never tried to hurt him in return. Whether it was because he was scared to do so, knew he wasn't strong enough, or just because he didn't care anymore, Dave would probably never know.

_You're invisible_

_Invisible to me_

_My wish is coming true_

_Erase the memory of your face_

Dave bites his lip, starting to wonder just how badly he's really hurt the kid. He never meant to seriously hurt him. Why would he want to do that? He's… he likes him. To a degree. A very large degree, so much that people will never know. He will never let anyone else know. He wonders it Kurt hates him. Really, truly hates him.

_Lost sight_

_Couldn't see_

_When it was you and me_

_Blow the candles out_

_Looks like a solo tonight_

_I'm beginning to see the light_

_Blow the candles out_

_Looks like a solo tonight_

_But I think I'll be alright_

'You and me'? Has there ever been a Kurt and Dave? There has never even been the slightest hint of a friendship, let alone anything else. Dave thinks for a moment, coming to the realisation that there had once been a relationship between the two – Hummel and Karofsky. An abusive, bullying, painful relationship, built on fear and anger and hate. Self hate. And Kurt had never been able to escape that until he'd transferred. Dave bitterly thinks now Kurt's 'seen the light'.

_One day, you will wake up_

_With nothing but 'you're sorry'_

_And one day_

_You will get back_

_Everything you gave me_

This is the one verse that makes the most sense to Dave. Every day now, he wakes up thinking about what he's done. Thinking that he should have stopped. Should have said something, been brave instead of a coward. It's as close to 'sorry' as he will ever get. And if karma works out, then he's going to get one serious beating one day. Eventually. Dave knew, even when Kurt had still been at McKinley, that everything he did was going to come back and bite him on the ass.

_Blow the candles out_

_Looks like a solo tonight_

_I'm beginning to see the light_

_Blow the candles out_

_Looks like a solo tonight_

_But I think I'll be alright_

As the song ends, Dave swallows painfully. The crowd in the video goes crazy, clapping and cheering for the Dalton boys. But mostly for the two singers. Dave quickly shuts down the website and the cursor hovers over the button that will delete the email from his account. He'll never have to hear that song again.

But it's already replaying in his mind, over and over and over again. He knows they sang that song for him, to tell him exactly what they thought. Maybe they hadn't done it purposely or consciously – maybe they had. But to him, that song has meaning. Personal meaning, and apparently someone in the Warblers thought it did too. Had found his email and gone to the trouble of sending it to him.

Dave shuts down his email, leaving the video lurking in his inbox. For now. Maybe one day he'll come back to it, listen to it again. And remember every awful thing that he has ever done.

**/\/\**

"Do you think he'll understand?" Blaine asks quietly, resting his head in his hands. Suddenly he's exhausted, his eyes already starting to close. Behind him, he hears his friend's movements as he comes up and puts a hand on his shoulder gently.

"He'll get it," David says just as quietly "Now come on, it's late. You seriously need to get some sleep."

Blaine rolls his eyes, though he knows his friend is right, "Alright. I hope he does understand though. I don't think I could have picked a more obvious song."

**Wow, this looked a lot longer in Word... :P**


End file.
